


Endgame

by janemac24



Series: Fic-ception Saga [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Inspired by Fanfiction, Ridiculousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 12:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3250445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janemac24/pseuds/janemac24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why does she so desperately need this to be true?</p><p>How disappointed will she be if it's not?</p><p>Regina takes a deep breath and sets down her cider. Then she opens Google Chrome and types:</p><p>  <em>Marisol Mendez series Gin and Sal bi or lesbians</em></p><p>The first link that pops up is for a story called "Cocoa for Three," written by someone called charmingduckling83: <em>(AU, no curse) Gin works at a coffee shop where Marisol and Sal are regular customers. She and the kid become fast friends, but the mom's a much harder read. It doesn't help that Gin is a disaster at pick-up lines. This is basically just fluff without much of a plot, but it's my first fanfic, so be nice? VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR!</em></p><p>Intrigued, she clicks it."</p><p> ***</p><p>SQW Day 7: Forbidden Love AU in which Emma and Regina are Marisol Mendez fans and diehard Gin/Sal shippers who have vastly different ideas about what constitutes good fanfic (or do they?). Please read the copious author's notes first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. red_honeycrisp

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amycarey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amycarey/gifts).



> This is ostensibly written for SQW Day 7: Forbidden Love, although tbh the love is not forbidden except in their own minds, but it's too late to start over. Maybe it could also qualify as Meet Cute. This is basically my love letter to Swan Queen and amycarey and fanfiction all at once. It's also somewhat satirical, and the views espoused by characters aren't meant to reflect my personal opinions.
> 
> The Marisol Mendez books and their associated characters come from "Down the Rabbit Hole" by amycarey and are used with her permission. It should be noted that in this universe, the series exists as its own entity and is not written by Regina, for reasons that should quickly become obvious. Instead, it's written by some reclusive literary mastermind named Amy Carey. You should probably read "Down the Rabbit Hole" first, if you haven't already (not necessarily to understand this crap, which is fairly self-explanatory, but because it's the greatest ever).
> 
> Many thanks to Aimee for letting me borrow her characters and to the organizers of SQW, which has been pretty awesome.

_“Marisol,” Mom said. “Mi corazón. I’m so sorry.” She turned to Gin. “Take care of her, Virginia.” And she fled, bursting out the doors of the hospital room, past the doctor walking in to check on Marisol. And, as Gin’s hand clasped her shoulder, Marisol felt like her heart might break in two.  
_ _\-- ‘The Queen and the Saviour’ by Amy Carey_

"That's enough for tonight, dear," Regina says, closing the book and pressing a gentle kiss on the top of Henry's head. His eyelids have been drooping for almost the whole chapter.

"Mom, we can't stop there," he whines. "It's too sad."

"Henry, it's the end of the book," Regina chuckles, although the privately agrees. She usually doesn't care much about the books she reads Henry, but this time, she's even more invested in the story than he is. There's something about Salbatora Mendez that speaks to her on a visceral level, in a way that no literary character (for children or adults) ever has before.

"There's a second book; I got it out of the library today. Please, Mom? I need to know if Marisol and her moms get a happy ending!"

"Tomorrow," promises Regina. Then she gives him another kiss, whispers, "Goodnight, my little prince," and flicks off the light, lingering in the doorway for a moment just to get another look at her little boy. Something about that ending is making her want to crawl back into Henry's bed, cradle him like a baby, and never let go.

"Mom, I can't sleep if you're staring at me," he grumbles, and Regina rolls her eyes and finally leaves.

She doesn't go to her bedroom. It's too quiet there, too lonely ever since Daniela died. Regina hasn't slept through the night in almost two years. Anyway, there's something important she needs to figure out. After pouring herself a tall glass of cider, she retreats to the study and stares at her computer screen for a moment, wondering if she's really about to do what she thinks she's about to do.

Why does she so desperately need this to be true?

How disappointed will she be if it's not?

Regina takes a deep breath and sets down her cider. Then she opens Google Chrome and types:

 _Marisol Mendez series Gin and Sal bi or lesbians_  

The first link that pops up is for a story called "Cocoa for Three," written by someone called charmingduckling83:

 

_(AU, no curse) Gin works at a coffee shop where Marisol and Sal are regular customers. She and the kid become fast friends, but the mom's a much harder read. It doesn't help that Gin is a disaster at pick-up lines._ _This is basically just fluff without much of a plot, but it's my first fanfic, so be nice? VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR!_

Intrigued, she clicks it.

Fanfic? It's not something she's ever heard of before, but she's already hooked. "Cocoa for Three" certainly pales in comparison to its award-winning source material, but it's sweet and heartwarming and Regina pauses to chuckle at Gin's antics several times as she scrolls down the page. When she reaches the end of the story (a kiss between the two lead characters that elicits a satisfied sigh), she clicks a button that says "Kudos" and sits back, wondering what it is that she just read.

At six in the morning, after devouring about ten more of these little stories, she starts to wonder if she might have a problem.

 

* * *

 

In the coming weeks, Regina spends her early evenings getting caught up on the books with Henry (they get through the second in only two nights, and his teacher calls to complain that he fell asleep during a spelling test), and then she stays up until the early hours in the morning reading fanfiction and educating herself on this whole "fandom" business. Apparently she, as someone who wishes Gin and Sal would get together, is a "shipper," and the "ship" is generally referred to as "Virgin Savior" – hence the "VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR" that pops up from time to time in summaries. (Although in the E-rated fics, it's sometimes called "Sin," which makes her cackle. There's nothing like a good Sin PWP to get her through a lonely night.)

She's surprised to learn that she and her fellow "Sinners," as they call themselves, are not the only shippers in the Marisol fandom. A few of the other ships have some well-written fics that she reads with guarded interest, but she can't quite understand the massive following that Gin and Captain Hook seem to have. Ramon, maybe, but Hook? He just seems untrustworthy.

(She's vindicated when Henry spoils the end of the third book for her and Hook is revealed for the traitor that he is. Then she's embarrassed when he notes her manic smile and points out, "Mom, it's just a book.")

It's around four in the morning, after a twenty chapter angst-fest that had her sobbing into her pillow (because Sal has just been through _so much_ and her love for Marisol is _so beautiful_ and why can't Sal and Gin just see that they were made for each other?!), that she gets an idea for her own fic.

She's up until sunrise scribbling notes on any stray scrap of paper she can find, and the next night, she requests an invitation to the site, and the writer "red_honeycrisp" is born.

One week later, she publishes the first chapter of "Shadowed Heart," and it's the final nail in the coffin. She's officially an obsessive fangirl with absolutely no exit strategy.

And she gets over 100 kudos for it in the first twenty-four hours. Apparently, the Sinners are suckers for angst.

 

* * *

 

Emma trudges into the apartment and immediately kicks off her high heels. "Successful bust?" her roommate asks. She just nods. They got the guy – a giant asshole wanted for embezzlement and tax evasion – and he'd had a big enough bounty on his head that she'll make rent and even be able to buy herself a nice steak dinner when she's not so exhausted. It's her birthday, not that she has the energy or inclination to celebrate it. 

"Nell talked about coming over with cupcakes later," Mary Margaret ventures hesitantly, but she shuts up after one glance at Emma's face.

"Too much human interaction for one day," Emma mutters. It's bad enough that she'd had to wine and dine the guy to get him into custody; she doesn't need to eat cupcakes with her overbearing girlfriend, too.

Then Mary Margaret reminds her, "You haven't seen her for almost a week," and she feels badly. Nell deserves someone better, honestly. Someone willing to take the time and energy to give her all the attention she wants.

"What about tomorrow?" Emma offers as a conciliatory gesture.

Mary Margaret shrugs and just looks kind of sad. "It's _your_ birthday."

With a loud sigh, Emma climbs up to the loft and collapses onto her bed, digging her laptop out from under the pillow so she can check for new comments on her latest fic, "Something in the Water," an E-rated cracky one-shot in which Gin and Sal find a very special river in Neverland that leads to hours of extremely hot sex.

Mary Margaret had been shocked to discover that Emma was _writing_ during the long stretches she spent alone in her room. And, if she's perfectly honest, even Emma herself finds it a little surprising; she's never considered herself a writer. Sure, she'd done pretty well in her high school creative writing class, but then she'd been kicked out of school and sent to prison and...well, suffice to say, the hobby had fallen by the wayside. But now here she is, writing all of these crazy stories about fictional lesbians, and people are actually _reading_ it.

Emma's never really been much of a reader, either, before this little obsession. It's not that she didn't enjoy a good book when she got the chance, she just never got the chance. The long hours at work and the exhaustion afterwards typically rendered her useless for any form of entertainment that didn't include a laugh track. But Mary Margaret is a fourth grade teacher who frequently brings work home with her, and she just couldn't shut up about this one book she was reading with her class, _The Queen and the Saviour._ For a week, everything was "Marisol this" and "Marisol that" and Emma had finally decided to read the damn thing so she could have a conversation with her roommate for once. Fourth grade reading level – couldn't be too bad, right?

The very next day she was at a bookstore, buying the second and third book and all of the paraphernalia she could find (they have Evil Queen mugs now), and it was somewhere in the middle of the second book that she deduced, somehow, that Gin and Sal _must_ be in love with each other.

Mary Margaret was skeptical at first ("Are you sure this isn't a lesbian goggles thing?"), but after hours of analyzing every interaction and reading online metas and looking at fan art, she's pretty thoroughly convinced. She's written a few fics of her own – epic-length fairytale sagas that Emma doesn't have the time or patience to get through ("Come on, M&M, it's longer than the first three books combined!") – but mostly she just betas Emma's, since the bootleg word processing program she's using doesn't come with spell check.

Most of the comments are fairly routine praise – ego-boosting, but boring – and there's the characteristic "I love this, and you. HUGS!" from mmb_snow. It's nice. It makes her feel a little better about her crap day. It's not like she was expecting any serious feedback: it's not a serious fic.

But then there's one that makes her do a double-take.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : I find it difficult to believe that either Sal or Gin would be willing to take a side trip to an aphrodisiac river in the midst of finding their daughter in Neverland. The entire premise of this story is OOC.

 

It's not that Emma isn't down with a little constructive criticism, when it's appropriate. She knows she's not the best writer in the fandom. But _please_ , it literally says "crack!fic" right in the description! It's supposed to be entertaining, not some kind of deep, provocative character study.

She rolls her eyes and replies:

 

 **charmingduckling83** : umm, yah, that's why it's called crack!fic.  i wrote it in 30 minutes for fun, give me a break.

 

Maybe it's not the most mature way to respond, now that she thinks about it, but it's been a long fucking day, and this person's obviously not the kind of person who should be reading this kind of story anyway, if they can't take a bit of humor. And then there's another response.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : It would have been so easy to have it make sense, though: for example, if they stumbled across the river by accident, you could have written a very similar smut piece about the effects without having either character seem like a callous parent.

 

Emma scowls. Yeah, okay, there's something there. Of course Gin and Sal aren't "callous parents." That's the whole reason why she likes them, isn't it? Well, part of the reason, anyway. But of course she wants her favorite characters to be good people who wouldn't abandon their kid! Who the fuck is this red_honeycrisp to blindly assume things about her?

Then again, red_honeycrisp has a point; it just doesn't make Emma particularly happy. Rolling her eyes, she types out a response, hitting the keys much more forcefully than she probably has to, slams her computer shut, and goes to sleep.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : ok maybe you're right, but the whole point of this is FOR FUN. and sex. mostly the sex part

 

She wakes up in the morning to yet another message from her mysterious non-admirer.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : And I give credit where credit is due: the sex scene was certainly very hot. However, I don't think it's too much to ask skilled writers to hold themselves to a certain standard when it comes to plausibility and characterization.

 

Fine. Whatever. Irritating as red_honeycrisp is, they just conceded that the sex was hot _and_ called Emma a "skilled writer," which no one had done in such explicit terms since her tenth grade English teacher.

She briefly wonders if red_honeycrisp could be her tenth grade English teacher, but she almost immediately decides against it.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : ok you know what, i'm just gonna take the fact that you called me a "skilled writer" as a compliment and ignore the rest. if you don't like it, go read something else.

 

Emma leaves the room for just a couple minutes, and there's a new comment when she's finished brushing her teeth and toasting a bagel. _Really_ , red_honeycrisp? Evidently, this person is pretty determined to get in the last word.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : Fine, I will.

 

She stares for a moment at the message, sorely tempted to answer with her own passive-aggressive sign off, but she resists. She'll let red_honeycrisp have this round: an asshole like that is sure to be back.

And honestly, Emma kind of hopes it'll be sooner rather than later. Her roommate and girlfriend are both way too blindly supportive; it's been a while since she's had a good argument.

 

* * *

 

 

Sure enough, red_honeycrisp leaves highly critical reviews on most of Emma's other works over the next few weeks, with one puzzling exception. The first fic she'd ever written, "Cocoa for Three," is mysteriously immune to these rants, despite it being, in Emma's opinion, one of her weakest efforts. 

The first fic to fall victim to red_honeycrisp's scorn is "One Night in Storybrooke," a one-shot she'd written for her friend Ruby's birthday. (Summary: _In the midst of a girls' night out, Gin "accidentally" drunk dials Sal. What happens next is anyone's guess. VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR_.)

She's honestly not surprised when she gets the review. Ruby's taste in fic is even more immature than Emma's, and red_honeycrisp doesn't seem the type to appreciate that kind of frivolity. 

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : Why are these grown adults acting like high-schoolers who have never been allowed out of their homes before?

 

 _Because that's what Ruby acts like,_ she wants to reply, but she can't disrespect one of her tiny handful of real-life friends.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : because it's funny?

 

But the reply she finds in her inbox the next morning elicits a double-take.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : You're better than this.

 

She's _better_ than this? What the hell does that even mean? Like, she's a better writer than this story? Well, no shit, Sherlock, but given that red_honeycrisp is the one who hates all of her work...

Whatever. She doesn’t have time to worry about it. She'll just ignore that one for now.

A few days later, red_honeycrisp decides to review "Missed Connections" (Summary: _When Mayor Mendez starts receiving gifts from a mysterious secret admirer, she asks her new deputy to investigate, but the clues seem to lead nowhere. Suspecting that Gin is dragging her feet on the case, Sal decides to take matters into her own hands. How shocked will she be when she learns the truth? VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR_.), a fic Emma's actually pretty proud of. She'd written it for last summer's Mayor/Sheriff-themed Virgin Savior Week, and it's become her most popular story (as well as her longest – five chapters!). Mary Margaret's boyfriend had even read it, and Emma's not sure if he's ever picked up a book in his life.

She's apprehensive when she sees it in her inbox. red_honeycrisp can shit all over her other stories, but "Missed Connections" is her baby. It's the first time in adulthood she's actually felt like a good writer, and she's not going to let that pissy jerk take it away from her.

She's pretty surprised, though, when she actually reads it.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : An amusing and engaging story, but there are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes, particularly in Gin's notes to Sal.

 

Emma smirks – it's not half as insulting as she'd suspected. And it's _wrong_. It figures someone like that would let her pretensions get in the way of truly understanding the characters. She can't wait to take this one down a notch.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : do u really think gin writes with perfect grammar?

 

A reply comes the following evening, when Emma is _finally_ hosting her birthday get-together with Mary Margaret, Ruby, David, and Nell. Her phone buzzes and she assumes it's a work email, but when she sees the subject line – **red_honeycrisp replied to your comment on Missed Connections** – she has to read it immediately.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : I suppose not. You have a point. Well done.

 

"What are you smiling about?" Nell demands. "You look like a psycho." Emma just shrugs. Her cheeks hurt and she's probably way too proud of herself for one-upping a random person on the internet, but it's her birthday (well, a couple weeks after, but who's counting?), so she can do what she wants, right?

 

 **charmingduckling83** : i think i'm winning u over.

 

red_honeycrisp doesn't reply, and Emma gleefully awards herself the victory for the round.

 

* * *

 

Finally, after almost a week of being berated for every misplaced apostrophe or tiny characterization mistake, Emma's curious enough to check red_honeycrisp's profile. She's not sure what she expects – something long-winded with esoteric plotlines and entire pages copied from a thesaurus, probably – but she's shocked to discover that the only fic listed is "Shadowed Heart," which she's been hearing about for a couple of weeks on Tumblr, not to mention from a thoroughly smitten Mary Margaret, but hasn't gotten around to reading yet. She doesn't usually have the patience to follow WiPs.

 

_(Set in Book 2) After Cressida unleashes a bloodthirsty monster on the town, Gin convinces Sal to come out of seclusion to help protect Marisol. Sal begins teaching Gin magic while learning to control her own addiction with the Savior's help, and the two women gradually develop an understanding. But when Gin is injured in battle, Sal spirals into a depression that could cost her all of her progress._

 

It's eight chapters in (out of "?" – that's always ominous) and already has over a thousand kudos. _Typical_ , Emma thinks, rolling her eyes. Fandom always rewards the assholes. (Her most popular fic has about 400, by comparison. Mary Margaret's only has 62.) 

She's not going to read it.

No, she's going to read and leave a nasty comment: give red_honeycrisp a taste of her own medicine.

No, that's stupid. She's not going to give this author any more attention and further inflate her ego.

Her cocoa's starting to get cold by the time her curiosity gets the better of her. She clicks the link, deciding she just won't tell anyone she's read it. She'll probably find something that squicks her in the first chapter anyway. She always does with these types of writers – so high and mighty with all of their stupid stans praising their every word (not that Mary Margaret is stupid) and then they can't even write the damn characters believably. 

red_honeycrisp, it turns out, isn't one of those writers. She's a little heavy on the adjectives for Emma's taste, but the plot is engaging enough that she can ignore it, and the characterizations are so on point she can almost imagine it as the actual book – well, if the book was geared toward significantly older readers. This writer _gets_ Sal, and there aren't too many people who actually do. She can feel it, deep within her gut, as she reads: the resignation, the anguish, the _love_. Emma's always liked the Queen as a character, but she's drawn to her more and more as the fic goes on and Sal's struggle becomes increasingly palpable to her.

And then there's Gin. She's seen so many people who can't write Gin to save their lives claim that she's soooo much easier to understand, and then they either make her this faultless hero or some kind of bumbling idiot when she's neither. But red_honeycrisp has her pegged, too – the reluctant Savior with enough street smarts but crippling abandonment issues and a gigantic chip on her shoulder that makes her do stupid things sometimes.

Stupid things like running headlong into some enormous dragon with nothing but a broken sword because it dared _look_ at Marisol and Sal the wrong way. Emma sees it coming before it even happens, feels it with a sick kind of twisting in her gut as she whispers at the screen, "Don't do it! Let Sal – her magic is stronger than yours," and her heart leaps into her throat at the image of Gin lying on the pavement, pale and broken with blood gushing from her head as Marisol and Sal kneel over her, heartbroken.

 

_"You idiot!" Sal raged. "You useless piece of – How could you do this? To Marisol, to your parents, to –"_

_Her voice cut off in a gasping sob from deep in her chest as she felt a darkness tighten around her heart, squeezing the life out of it as effectively as if she'd ripped it out herself. Falling to her knees beside the hospital bed, she let the tears fall as she finally voiced what her heart had been trying to tell her for almost three weeks. "How could you let me love you and then leave me?"_

_The only response is the steady beep of the monitors and the whoosh of the ventilator keeping the Savior alive._

 

The lump in Emma's throat is growing more and more painful and there are hot tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she imagines the scene. This isn't okay: she cannot be _crying_ about this stupid fic written by this pretentious asshole that she was only supposed to read for one chapter and then mock. What's she supposed to do now? Leave a comment? She's too gutted to think of anything nitpicky to say, and she's absolutely not leaving any compliments.

Moving quietly so Mary Margaret won't see her, Emma sneaks into the bathroom and steals the roll of toilet paper to wipe her eyes, since the tissue box is way out in the open and she certainly doesn't want to share why she's crying with her nosy roommate.

Then she opens Tumblr and posts her rant there.

 

 **_Shadowed Heart WTF?!  
_** _#omg #i'm dead #red_honeycrisp killed me #stupid fucking cliffhanger #the tears are destroying my keyboard #i don't have the money to replace this shitty computer #plz make it stop #gin better not fucking die #that's all i can say #how could u #fuck red_honeycrisp #emma's problems for ts_

 

She stares hard at the post for a few minutes and before abruptly deciding to delete it. She doesn't know if red_honeycrisp is on Tumblr, but she doesn't want to give them the satisfaction of reading any positive feedback.

In fact, she won't give them the satisfaction of receiving any feedback at all. For all red_honeycrisp knows, charmingduckling83 has never read their stupid glorious heart-wrenching fic.

 

* * *

 

Once she's into the meatier sections of "Shadowed Heart," Regina begins to find it increasingly difficult to keep her followers satisfied with frequent updates. She's shocked to discover that in just a few weeks, it's become one of the best known fics in the fandom. Not that she's displeased – it's the first time in her life she's been popular – but some of the comments are incredibly obnoxious, demanding new chapters when she's barely finished updating.

She's not sure what exactly they're expecting of her; she's lucky if she manages to post once a week, what with work and Henry and trying (and usually failing) to get enough sleep so she can function like a normal human.

She supposes one of the perks of being a "newbie," though, is that there are still so many fics she hasn't read. She especially enjoys sifting through charmingduckling83's seemingly endless pile of stories, a lot of fluffy, easy reads with mostly apt characterization and just the right amount of dry humor.

Whoever charmingduckling83 is, she's a gifted writer. Regina is convinced that if she'd try her hand at longer (and perhaps slightly more serious) fics, she'd quickly become a fandom favorite, but she rarely ventures beyond one- or two-shots.

The one Regina is reading tonight, "Swap it Out" (apparently titled after a Justin Bieber song), is hilarious. Sal, leaning out her window one night, wishes that Gin would understand her and stop questioning her love for Marisol. Unfortunately, the Blue Fairy ("Shady Ho," as she's referred to in this fic) overhears the wish and grants it in the worst way possible: the next morning, Sal wakes up in Gin's bed and, she's absolutely horrified to discover, in Gin's body. The rest of the fic involves the two of them repeatedly mocking other's mannerisms and attempting to sabotage each other's roles in the Miners' Day Festival until they end up on top of Sal's desk.

In the epilogue, they're back in the correct bodies, and Marisol asks if they're dating.

It's a satisfying read that has Regina clamping a hand over her mouth the entire time so she won't wake Henry with her laughter, but once she's regained control, she realizes she doesn't quite understand the ending.  She rereads it twice (because it's _unclear_ , she tells herself, not because it's both hot and funny at the same time), and then figures she might as well ask. Unlike some writers, charmingduckling83 actually seems to enjoy answering all of her reviews.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : I'm a bit confused: at the time of the sex scene, are they meant to have switched back already or are they still in each other's bodies?

 

When she returns to her computer (after a cold shower and an hour of deeply unsatisfying sleep), she's caught off-guard by the reply.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : whichever u find hotter ;)

 

Which _does_ she find hotter? It's a hard question: she can see how there might be merits to both scenarios. She types out a long, detailed response and eagerly awaits the author's reply.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : I'm not sure. On the one hand, I believe it would make more sense after they'd switched back, or they would essentially be going down on themselves. On the other, though, if we're assuming they're both women who are intimately familiar with their own bodies, it could be a very pleasurable experience to have a partner who knows their every need.

 **charmingduckling83** : oh...didn't actually mean that as a serious question, but if we're going down that road, who's to say they didn't spend some time getting to know their new bodies, if u know what i mean...

 

Embarrassed, Regina feels her face heat up. It's so difficult to read tone over the internet. But then she studies the latest response again, and she realizes charmingduckling83 may actually be teasing her. Is she? It's almost five in the morning – her brain isn't working at its full capacity. But if there's teasing, she can tease back.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : You're the one who never included such a scene in the story. A gross oversight on your part. ;)

 

She falls asleep on the living room couch with a smile on her face, and the next morning, she almost chokes on her coffee when she sees the message in her inbox.

 

 **charmingduckling83** : shit, my bad. is it too late to retcon that in?

 

* * *

 

When she hears a scream from the living room, Emma immediately comes running with a frying pan held over her head, ready to fight an intruder. It's almost a letdown when she finds her roommate sitting alone on the couch with her laptop and a bowl of popcorn 

"Sorry," Mary Margaret says sheepishly, "'Shadowed Heart' updated."

Groaning, Emma steals a handful of popcorn and plops down on the couch, depositing her frying pan on the coffee table. Mary Margaret can put it away later as payback for giving her a heart attack. "Did Gin die yet?"

Mary Margaret stares at her. "You've read it?" she asks curiously. "But you never –"

"God, no," Emma lies, mouth full of popcorn, "I just already know the whole plot from a bunch of idiots on Tumblr." _And you_ , she adds silently.

"Oh," Mary Margaret mumbles, looking confused. "Well, she's still in a coma. Marisol just tried True Love's Kiss, but it didn't work. She's afraid Gin doesn't love her, but Sal's trying to reassure her that it's because she has a head injury and isn't, you know, cursed."  She pauses to wipe away a tear. "It's pretty gut-wrenching. I mean, she finally found her birth mother, and – well, you know. But I think Sal's finally -"

Emma rolls her eyes and stalks back up to the loft, where she pulls out her laptop and furiously opens the latest chapter of "Shadowed Heart," clicking so hard she's worried she'll break her trackpad. She's not sure what about this fic or the attention it's getting makes her so angry, but she just wants to take red_honeycrisp down a notch.

(And she's going to do it anonymously, because apparently she's a coward.

A coward who doesn't want the nightly debates to stop if red_honeycrisp somehow gets offended.)

 

 **anonymous** : i don't even get what people see in this fic. it's just a bunch of melodramatic garbage and people who claim to be obsessed with it are just following the hive mind. come onnnn. gin's on her deathbed – sooo original. this is completely formulaic and we all know how it's gonna end. why does anyone even bother?

 

The replies start coming almost immediately: red_honeycrisp's army of stans all think she's garbage.

 

 **let_it_snow** : what the hell is wrong with you?

 **sidglass** : What's wrong with you? This story is brilliant and red_honeycrisp is a genius. VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR.

 **goldentouchgirl** : Don't be an asshole. This story is great. You must be delusional.

 **jeffinahat** : get the fuck over urself, loser.

 **Guest** : you're stupid.

 **its_zeleeeeena** : It might not be all it's cracked up to be, but it's still pretty damn good.

 **MademoiselleLacey** : What the actual fuck? This story is amazing. You're probably so used to reading garbage you just can't recognize brilliance staring you in the face.

 **anon** : shut up u idiot!

 **arrowmaiden5** : Honestly, it sounds like you're just jealous.

 **redwolfruby** : come on! what r u doing? this story is literally the best thing this fandom has ever seen.

 **mmb_snow** : That wasn't very polite. If you dislike it so much, just don't read it and let the rest of us enjoy ourselves.

 

The last two are the only ones that actually hurt. She'd thought her two best friends would be on her side, but apparently not. (Not that Mary Margaret and Ruby know it's her, of course. Then again, if they did, they'd probably still be pissed. Evidently, she's immature as well as cowardly.)

She doesn't get a reply from the author until the next morning, but when she does, she hangs her head in shame. Why the hell does red_honeycrisp have to be popular _and_ polite. It takes all the fun out of hating them.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** : I'm sorry you don't like my work, dear, but you're entitled to your opinion. If you have more specific criticism, I'd be happy to discuss it with you. I'm always looking to improve my writing. Thank you for reading!

 

* * *

 

These days, the first thing Regina does after tucking Henry in is to check the Gin/Sal tag on AO3 for any new fics. While most of what she reads could be classified as mindless drivel (some of the sex scenes are especially cringe-worthy, clearly written by teenagers who need to better familiarize themselves with the female anatomy), there are a few that stand out and make her wait for the fifth book in the series much more bearable 

(She shares a few of the G-rated ones with Henry, who enjoys them but doesn't seem to understand her obsession. "They're not as good as the real books, Mom," he whines. And she agrees, but she can't explain it to him, why she needs to read a million different versions of the same two fictional characters falling in love as much as she needs water or even air. She can't explain it to herself, but she keeps reading and she keeps writing like her life depends on it. In a way, she supposes it does.)

Tonight's crop of new fics is pretty slim – unless you're willing to read something with "i suck at summeriez lool" in the description – and none of her favorites have updated. She sighs and downs a large gulp of cider, prepared to close the window and start work on her next chapter, when she sees a new one-shot from charmingduckling83: "I tried to page you twice, but I see you roll your eyes."

Disappointment forgotten, she immediately clicks the link.

 

_Early 2000s high-school AU inspired by the song "Juliet" by LMNT. Gin's the new girl at Storybrooke High who REALLY wants to get the attention of her classmate, Sal Mendez._

_Author's Note: Picture young Gin and Sal in their distressed denim and spaghetti straps, being adorable dorks. VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR._

It is, as promised, adorable and almost embarrassingly dorky. Even more embarrassing, however, are the giggles and squeals that come involuntarily out of her throat as she reads it. Worried she'll wake Henry, she grabs one of the couch cushions and hugs it over her mouth to muffle the sound.

The fic ends with Sal agreeing to give Gin a chance and a kiss that leaves warm butterflies dancing around in Regina's stomach.

 

 **red_honeycrisp:** A cute story on the whole, but a few of the interactions feel a bit stilted to me. Gin's behavior also seems slightly out of character; I don't think she has enough self-confidence (or she wouldn't, at this stage of her life, given her history of rejection) to pursue Sal so doggedly when Sal claimed to be uninterested.

 

charmingduckling83 must be online now, because a reply appears in her inbox only a few minutes later.

 

 **charmingduckling83:** she's dealt with rejection from foster parents, but at this point she hasn't been betrayed romantically (this is pre-ramon) so idk. i think high school gin was probably kind of a hottie and she knew it. anyway, it's based on the song.

Regina rolls her eyes. Was high school Gin a hottie? Probably, but the confident swagger she has in the fic doesn't seem particularly appropriate. Her own headcanon is that Gin was fairly shy and possibly edgy – smoking behind the train tracks and that sort of thing – in high school, while Sal would have been less of a queen bee and more of a science geek perfectionist, who lived in constant fear of her mother.

 

 **red_honeycrisp** **:** But why would you choose that particular song to describe Gin and Sal's relationship?

 **charmingduckling83:** idek? someone asked me to write a fic based on a boy band hit, and that's what i came up with? if you don't like my stuff, don't read it.

 

That's the problem, though. She _does_ like charmingduckling83's "stuff," she'd just like to see the writer try her hand at a less frivolous topic. She has so much potential, and she's wasting it on this fluff when she could be producing masterpieces.

 

 **red_honeycrisp:** I just feel that a relationship between the two of them, at any age, would be far more fraught with anxiety and conflict. That song choice doesn't make sense **.**

 **charmingduckling83:** some of us like our fluff. what song would you have chosen, angst queen?

 

Regina considers for a moment, wondering if that was a serious question. Then she shrugs and figures she might as well respond to it. Boy band music isn't her forte, but Daniela had a few tracks she liked back in those days. After a brief scroll through her iTunes library, she thinks she has her answer.

 

 **red_honeycrisp:** For the era and the genre, I'd choose All or Nothing by O-town.

 **charmingduckling83:** uuggghhh you would. why don't you just write that shit yourself then?

 

Scowling, Regina closes the tab and finishes the last of her cider. _Maybe I will_ , she thinks. She's not in the mood for "Shadowed Heart" tonight anyway.

 

* * *

 

It's not even forty-eight hours later when Emma sees it in the tag: "I've had the rest of you; now I want the best of you" by red_honeycrisp for charmingduckling83. It's the first time anyone's ever "gifted" a fic to her, and she's not quite sure how she feels about it 

It's already amassed eleven comments, which she views first with no small amount of apprehension. Nothing about _her_ , thankfully, and she lets out a breath that she didn't realize she was holding in: just a bunch of people praising the genius of red_honeycrisp (ew) and demanding another chapter (even more ew). Oh, and apparently it's another giant pile of angst. Great.

red_honeycrisp really went all out. There's pining and fighting and passionate kissing in supply closets...and betrayal and tears when it's all for nothing, and somehow at the end there's still this tiny bit of hope, and Emma wraps herself in her baby blanket and sobs for a solid five minutes because this may be an AU about fictional magic moms, but she _swears_ it's about her and Lily.

It's not. _Obviously_ it's not, but somehow all she can see when she reads the last sentence is Lily's back getting smaller and smaller as she walks away, and the emotions are as fresh as ever and the tears won't stop falling.

It's oddly cathartic.

She wants it to stop.

Once her eyes are dry enough, she vents in her Tumblr tags and considers her position. She doesn't want to give red_honeycrisp any more attention (come on, she's not _that_ great), but she can't just leave this here with no comment because, well, it is _that_ great.

In the end, she goes with her old standby.

 

 **anonymous** : this fic killed me. (in a good way...maybe.) thanks for the crying jag. totally needed it :/

 

And another:

 

 **nonnerz** : OMG you are amazing. i am dead.

 

And another:

 

 **A.NonnieMouse** : are you buffy because you just slayed me. (i mean i'm not a vampire but goooddddd that fic)

 

And another:

 

 **anon** : this fic brings me all the way back to my high school self's outrageously terrible taste in music and relationships.

 

And another:

 

 **nonnnnnie** : is someone cutting some fucking onions around here?! it is raining on my face. this fic is a rollercoaster in the best (and worst) ways.

 

Then she splashes a handful of water on her face, drinks about five beers, and calls Nell to break up with her.

 _("You_ never wrote anything for me," she sobs.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Nell replies, sputtering in confusion. "Is this...are we...?")

Then she wonders if she actually just dumped her girlfriend of two years for a random fanfic writer on the internet whom she knows absolutely _nothing_ about, and she drinks another beer.

 

* * *

 

Every time Regina's phone buzzes with an email alert, she rushes to check if it's finally a review from charmingduckling83. 

("Mom, what are you doing?" Henry demands when she picks up her phone at the dinner table. "You're breaking your own rule. Does that mean you have to ground yourself?" The truly sad part is that she leaves the house so rarely, apart from going to work or driving Henry somewhere, that being grounded wouldn't make that much of a difference. Well, she supposes if she took away her computer...)

After a week passes with no comment (not even kudos – she's checked all the usernames multiple times), she resigns herself to the fact that it's not coming.

She tries to find consolation in the twenty-five other reviews, most of them positive, but it just isn't the same.

She's not sure what she expected; she and charmingduckling83 aren't _friends_ , after all. Sure, the snarky comments they leave for each other are the closest thing to friendship Regina's had in a while, but they don't have the kind of relationship what would lead to writing fanfiction for each other.

She'd enjoyed the debates; they made her feel more alive than she has in a long time – since Daniela was alive, really. (Or, if she's being honest, since Daniela got sick.) The banter back and forth over comments... there'd been something to it, hadn't there?

She'd thought...

Well, clearly it was all one-sided.

There's a note in her inbox from mmb_snow, congratulating her on some nomination for a "VS Fan Award," whatever the hell that is. She can't find it in her to care.

Instead of editing her next chapter, she goes to sleep. And if her pillow is damp the next morning, it's not like there's anyone who'll know.


	2. charmingduckling83

It's not until a few days later that she figures out what the so-called "VS Fan Awards" are: some sort of internet popularity contest where Sinners vote for their favorite fan-works of varying categories. It seems fun, if a little pointless. Most of the fics she sees there, including her own, are the ones that have already gotten more than enough accolades, but she supposes she couldn't have expected much else.

She's truly shocked, though, to see that none of charmingduckling83's stories are on the list. She would have thought –

Well, maybe no one's gotten around to it yet. That's an easily fixable problem; there's a link that says "Submit Your Nominations" right on top.

 

_charmingduckling83 – Best Writer. Swap It Out – Best Humor (NC-17). Missed Connections – Best Humor. Cocoa for Three – Best AU (and Fluff)._

 

She's not sure why she loves that last one so much. It's not the best-written story in the fandom, but it just gives her a warm, fuzzy feeling every time she thinks about it. Such a cute family story.

Anyway, her work here is done. Even if charmingduckling83 never reads her fic, at least now they've been repaid for entertaining her on what would have otherwise been very lonely nights. It's just...

She sighs and checks her watch. At least she's in an appropriate mood to write another two thousand words of angst tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina checks the awards blog the next night to ensure that they've posted her nominations, and she's surprised to see that there's a link attached to charmingduckling83's username. Intrigued, she clicks it, and she bursts into a gleeful smile when she sees it's a personal blog. 

She's not a stalker, she has to remind herself. She just...

Well, okay, maybe this could qualify as stalking. She just doesn't care.

The first post causes her to let out a short bark of laughter.

 

_pretty sure i ship virgin savior more than my own relationship...maybe why i can't keep a girlfriend to save my life.  
_ _#emma's problems for ts_

 

What's "ts?" Regina wonders as she continues to scroll down. She thinks she just found out charmingduckling83's real name though, which makes her strangely giddy. The rest of the blog is mostly full of fic updates with the occasional sketch of Gin and Sal kissing, or Gin and Sal having picnics with Marisol. charmingduckl – no, _Emma_ is a beautiful artist. 

There's one post that catches her eye, time-stamped the same night as she published that ridiculous song-fic:

_fuuuuucckkkk i'm emotionally destroyed.  
_ _#emma's problems for ts #fuck you red_honeycrisp #hurts so good #fic rec #kinda_

 

So she _did_ read it. And clearly enjoyed it – enough to post about it on her blog. There's a warm sensation in Regina's belly and she has to hug a pillow to her chest to contain the happy noises bubbling up inside of her. Somehow, this crass one-sentence post is more validation than all of the other kudos and comments and award nominations combined.

Then she rolls her eyes at herself. She's being completely ridiculous: she doesn't even know this woman. What does she care what "charmingduckling83" thought about the one-shot she'd written on a whim?

But she takes a screenshot of the post anyway, names it "success.jpg" and continues to smile idiotically at her computer screen for several minutes before she finally snaps out of it. As she scrolls back up the page, she sees a link that says Ask me anything (anons welcome) and clicks it, thinking she'll perhaps return the favor in her customary back-handed way.

 

_VS is truly wonderful, but I think caring about it more than your own love life is a little much. They're only fictional characters. PS: Your artwork is lovely._

 

Then she leaves to make herself a cup of tea and considers the fact that she might be in the same situation. When did she last attempt to have a personal life? The only person she talks to these days, aside from Henry, is Marian from her office, and that barely counts because their conversations are limited to discussing work deadlines and sharing cute pictures of their sons.

(Then again, it's not as if the situation was dramatically different before Virgin Savior took over her life. She'd just spent a lot more time baking pies and compulsively rubbing at Daniela's ring, still on a chain around her neck. She hasn't done that in months. She's not sure whether or not Dr. Hopper would consider that progress. Maybe she should set up an appointment with him sometime, although she's never heard of anyone discussing fanfiction with a therapist.)

She refreshes Emma's blog when she returns and is somewhat impressed that her question has already been answered – apparently in great detail, judging by the length of the post. She sets down her tea and eagerly begins to read.

 

_hey, nonnie. okay, so maybe i exaggerated a LITTLE bit, but vs is just **so** important, you know? like, there aren't a whole lot of lesbian couples in mainstream YA lit. idk about you, but i would have given ANYTHING to see a relationship like that when i was a kid. i mean, main characters in a real book (not that gay &lesbian romance novels aren't real books, but you know what i mean?) that aren't just there to be token representation and have a healthy relationship and a family and...ugh i just think 12 year old me really needed that._

_and honestly, gin is like my baby. she's basically the closest thing to me i've ever seen in a book before. like, she had a shitty childhood and she's kind of a screw-up but she tries so hard to be this big hero and a mom to marisol even though she doesn't know how, and i just want her to have love and happiness and a family with her kid and someone who gets her the way sal does. gives me hope for my own shitshow of a love life, ya know?_

_and then sal's been through SOOO much crap, but she's working her ass off to be a better person for marisol and gin's the only one who really believes in her. like, she sees the best in her and challenges her to find it herself and just...ugh they're just so right together. they NEED each other. sal deserves to be with someone who understands how important marisol is and who doesn't judge her when she sometimes fucks up, and she just has so much love to give. gin needs someone like that in her life who's so strong and steadfast and who holds on ~~maybe too~~ tightly to the people she loves because she's never had anyone who held on to her before. and then they both care about marisol more than anything. ugghhh how cute would that family be? and marisol would be so much better adjusted with both of her moms in her life supporting her AND each other and...omg im crying._

_sorry this is basically a really badly written essay, i just...UNGH. vs is my life. ps: thanks for the compliment on my art, lol._

Regina wipes away a tear and sniffles loudly as she finishes reading. She's never been able to put into words how strongly she feels about Gin and Sal, but charmingduckling83 just hit the nail on the head. She thinks about all of the lonely nights since Daniela's death, the stress of raising Henry on her own, the constant worry that she'll never be enough for him. She thinks about Sal and the way a woman who's not even real had inspired her to keep pushing on, had indirectly made her life a little easier just by existing, and she thinks about how much she needs Sal's happy ending as a stand-in for her own, and then she goes back to Emma's ask box.

 

_I can understand that. I've never found a character I could relate to quite like Sal. I'm a single mother who's also lost a first love, and I know how hard it can be sometimes (although I'm not evil – usually). I love my son more than anything, but I'm never certain if I'm enough for him without my wife there. I try to be the parent he deserves, but I had a difficult relationship with my own mother that's left me with a great deal of self-doubt. Not that you needed to know all of that..._

                                                                                                 

She's almost out of characters. Sighing, she clicks "Ask" and then refreshes the page to continue. If she's going to bare her soul to a complete stranger tonight, she might as well do it all the way.

 

_Anyway, my point is that I agree with you. After losing my wife, I'm so terribly lonely sometimes, but I wrestle with whether I need (or even deserve) a second chance at romantic love. I suppose that part of the reason I ship Gin with Sal is that I want her to have the same thing I desire so desperately, someone who understands her struggles and doubts and more importantly, who shares a love for Marisol and can complete their little family. They give me hope, as well._

 

After sending the second message, she shakes her head at herself and refreshes the page a final time, typing:

 

_I'm very sorry for spamming you with messages about my personal life. Perhaps I needed to vent more than I realized. It won't happen again._

 

Then, to complete her evening of embarrassing acts, she curls up on her couch and cries until she falls asleep. When she wakes up a few hours later, the blog is still open on her computer screen. Just out of curiosity, she refreshes the page to see if Emma's replied.

She has.

 

_hey, it's alright. vent to me whenever you need to. sometimes life gets tough, but i think we all deserve a second chance at a happy ending, which is why the marisol books are **so important.** i bet you're an awesome mom (maybe even better than sal, lol) and your kid's lucky to have you. and maybe you're not ready for your second chance yet, but you'll get there. shit gets hard, but i believe in you. HUGS. (ps: VIVA LA VIRGIN SAVIOR!)_

 

Regina reads the note three times, committing it to memory. In fact, she briefly considers taking a screen shot of it, so she can reread it whenever she's having a bad day.

_I believe in you._

She hadn't realized until now just how much she needed to hear those words, even just from a stranger on the internet.

 

* * *

 

"Mom!" Henry hollers as he bursts in the front door, tossing his backpack onto the stairs with a loud thump Regina hears all the way from her study. _"¿Qué vamos a cenar?_  "

Regina smiles as she pushes herself up from her desk. Henry's been speaking Spanish a lot more lately. They used to speak it almost exclusively (it had been his first language), but then Daniela's death had coincided with kids at school reaching an age where they mocked each other for _any_ difference, and he had lost interest in it until the popularity of Marisol Mendez made learning Spanish "cool" and turned Henry, as a native speaker, into a minor celebrity.

Not that Regina minded: in those days, she'd wanted to avoid anything that reminded her of her wife. Spanish at home had been Daniela's idea: she grew up speaking the language while Regina's mother had done anything she could to hide the fact that she was Latina, and abandoning it had felt safer, easier, reduced the likelihood of embarrassing crying jags. Maybe she's healing, though, because now it just makes her smile.

"Enchiladas?" she suggests, and Henry lets out an excited little squeal.

 _"Mi favorito! Te quiero, Mama,"_ he shouts as he dives into her arms, and Regina freezes. He hasn't used that particular title in over two years, and before that, it was usually Daniela's claim. (Regina being "Mom" or "Mommy" depending how he felt on any given day.) Henry seems to realize his mistake at the same time and awkwardly backs away. "Oh, um...I..."

Regina swallows hard and murmurs, _"Está bien,"_ hugging him tightly against her chest before he can squirm away. Thankfully, he seems willing to stay put for a while, resting his head on her shoulder while she takes a deep, shuddering breath, inhaling the faint smell of cinnamon that seems permanently stuck to his clothes. She kisses his hair and whispers, "I love you so much, _mijo_ ," switching back to English before they're both overwhelmed.

Henry nods into her shirt and squeezes tighter as she starts to rub small circles on his back. "Did you have fun in school today?" she asks.

"We played Little Red again," he says, referring to the game he and his friends have made up, based loosely on the plot of the fourth Marisol Mendez book. "I was the wolf."

"That sounds fun," Regina chuckles, briefly questioning whether she should be worried that her son is so excited about pretending to eat people.

"Oh!" he suddenly exclaims, as if he's just remembering something very important. "Grace and Ava were Gin and Sal and...they _kissed_ at the end."

Regina feigns a gasp. "No!" she exclaims. Henry pulls away and nods vigorously.

"Really! After Gabriela – she was playing Marisol – beat the wolf, they hugged her and then Ava looked at Grace and said, 'Salbatora Mendez, I'm so happy, I could just kiss you,' and then she did! It was like one of your weird fanfictions!"

"You don't say," Regina replies, smirking. "Speaking of which, I read one last night that you might like."

He wrinkles his nose. "Really? It's not another one of those 'Baby Marisol and her Mami' fics, is it?"

(The last fic she'd shared with him had been a collection of drabbles about Marisol's childhood, gut-wrenching for Regina but evidently quite boring for Henry. "I don't care about Marisol's first steps, Mom. I want to read about magic and dragons!" he whined. Meanwhile, she'd sobbed into a handkerchief while clutching Henry's baby picture to her chest and basically been non-functional for a solid half hour.)

"No," she says, slinging an arm over his shoulder and grinning proudly, "this one's an AU based on _The Incredibles_." She'd spent most of the previous night devouring the first three chapters of "The Mendezes" by charmingduckling83 and left a non-nitpicky review, for once ("This is a hilarious concept; I'm very excited to read more. It feels like the perfect fic for you." Now that they've poured their hearts out to each other, even if Emma has no idea who she is, their snarky debates no longer feel quite right.), for which she hasn't yet gotten a reply. She'd even stayed logged in to leave kudos.

"Cool, so they're superheroes?" he asks curiously, leaning into her embrace like he's not ready to break contact just yet, which suits Regina just fine. "Maybe you can bring your tablet and read it to me tonight before bed?"

"That sounds perfect," she replies with a soft kiss to his forehead. "Now, you probably have some homework, and then I thought you might like to help with dinner?"

"Okay. Oh, and can I ask you something?" Regina nods. "You know how the fifth Marisol book is coming out next week, right?"

"Of course." It's been marked on her calendar for over a month.

"Me and Grace and Ava and Nick –" she doesn't bother to correct his grammar, not today "- want to go to Barnes & Noble at midnight for the release. It's a Friday, so we don't have school or anything, so I was thinking..."

"You want me to take you?"

"Yeah! I mean, if that's okay? Because you like the books, too, but their parents don't, and you don't really sleep that much anyway..."

"I'd be honored," Regina answers immediately. "Do you want to ask them to sleep over afterwards?"

Henry cocks his head to one side in confusion. "Do you think that would be okay? You know, since two of them are girls?" he asks, worriedly chewing his lower lip.

Regina shrugs and tries to hold back a laugh. "I'll have the girls sleep in the guest room, if it makes their parents more comfortable, although it sounds like those particular girls might get into more trouble _without_ a couple of boys between them."

"Oh yeah," Henry says, giggling. "I didn't even think of that." But then he quickly sobers. "Do you think their parents would be nice about it? If they're gay, I mean? Or would they be mean like your mom?"

"I don't know, baby," Regina says softly, "but you know that any of your friends are always welcome here, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"If it makes you feel any better, neither Grace's parents nor Ava and Nick's ever had a problem with your Mamá and me, but I'm very proud of you for being such a caring friend." After a brief pause, she adds, "And she would be, too."

He doesn't need to ask who "she" is. He just wraps his arms around Regina's waist again and she rests her chin on top of his head, one hand stroking his hair. _"Te quiero,"_ he says again, and Regina realizes that this is one of the first times she's been able to talk about Daniela without breaking down.

_Gracias, Sal Mendez._

It's rare that Henry's this cuddly; usually, she's practically wrestling him into a hug while he's dashing off in one direction or another, but today, he doesn't seem to want to let go.

"Your homework," Regina finally remembers.

"Right," Henry says, clearing his throat, "and then enchiladas." Reluctantly, he dislodges himself from her embrace and grabs his backpack from the stairs on his way up. "You should start planning your costume!" he calls over his shoulder.

"Costume?"

"For the book launch! You're gonna be Sal, right?"

"We'll see," she responds, rolling her eyes. "I suppose I've always wanted to be an evil queen." She watches as he disappears into his room, and then lifts Daniela's ring to her lips. _Shit gets hard, but I believe in you._ charmingduckling83's - _Emma's_ – words echo in her head over and over, reaffirming that she's going to be okay someday. She thinks she may have just gotten closer.

(That night, after she finishes reading to Henry, she checks the comments section of "The Mendezes" and smiles broadly when she sees Emma's reply: _wow, praise from red_honeycrisp? guess i finally did something right._ "You did," Regina whispers. "More than you know.")

 

* * *

 

Regina decides if she's already _this_ deep into fandom insanity, she might as well plunge all the way under. She starts her own blog the night before the fifth book is released, savetheapples (based on Henry's hilarious – in her opinion, anyway – idea for Sal's mayoral campaign slogan. Her first order of business is to reblog every single Virgin Savior artwork from Emma's blog, and then she makes her first post

 

**_Why I Need Marisol Mendez  
_ ** _When I started reading the Marisol Mendez books to my son a few months ago, after they became popular at his school, I never predicted how obsessed we would both become. We've read quite a few books together over the years, but none that have made such a difference in our lives..._

 

She writes and she writes and she writes: about fairytales, about love and loss, about adoption, about being a queer Latina woman who had never been found anyone like herself in a book she could read to her son, on and on until she's pretty sure she needs to figure out how to do one of those "Read More" things or no one will ever want to follow her. 

Finally, she concludes:

 

_I'm sure far more important and eloquent people have written about the importance of these books, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who can say they may have saved my life, or at least my most precious relationship. For both my son and me, the Marisol Mendez books have taught us that we are not alone, and that happiness is possible if we can just hold onto hope, and I cannot think of a more important message than that._

 

She puts it in the Virgin Savior tag, just because she can. Once the page refreshes, she sees a notification: _charmingduckling83 is now following you._

She doesn't squeal or do a happy dance. Really, she doesn't. But her face starts to get pretty sore an hour later when she's still smiling.

 

* * *

 

"What page are you on?" Grace hisses to Henry as they read _Dark Heart_ in the 24-hour café: Regina and four kids and some less-than-savory characters she hopes will continue to pay them no attention. After the book launch party, the kids were all so over-energized that Regina very quickly decided that if sleep was going to be as impossible as she suspected, she might as well bring them somewhere she could at least get a good latte.

(And the truly nice thing about taking them out to a "cool" place to read, she realizes, is that they're on their best behavior in a way that they would never be in her home.) 

"Seventy-eight," he replies.

"I'm only on seventy-three," says Grace.

Ava smirks and informs them, "I'm already on one-oh-five."

"You're _so_ cool," Nick grumbles, rolling his eyes. "Don't spoil the ending for the rest of us."

With a shrug, Ava sets her book down and turns to Regina. "Do you know what Saden means?" she asks. "The names are always important."

Regina doesn't, but she immediately pulls out her phone to check, glad to have something to do besides awkwardly try read over Henry's shoulder (she'll get caught up tomorrow) and try not to fall asleep. It figures the one night she actually thinks she might be able to sleep for eight hours is the night that she can't. "Who's Saden?" she asks absentmindedly.

"Sal's mom," says Henry before he suddenly claps a hand over his mouth, looking horrified. "You...you guys are all past that part, right?"

"Saden means dark-hearted," Regina reports. It seems fitting, if Sal's mother is as much like her own as she imagines.

"Oh, like the title!" Ava exclaims. "I just thought it was meant to sound like Satan."

There's a snort from the next table over, and Regina whirls around to see a thin blonde woman huddled over a mug of hot cocoa, reading the same book. "Sorry," she mumbles. "Just...sounded like a good idea, you know?"

Regina nods, still eyeing the woman with suspicion. She's wearing glasses and a beat-up red leather jacket that looks vaguely familiar, and Regina can't remember why until Grace pipes up. "Hey! I remember you from the Marisol party! You were the only grown-up who dressed up besides Henry's mom."

The kids had taken their costumes _very_ seriously, insisting that Regina go full out in her Mayor Mendez costume, not even allowing her to change out of her five inch heels after the party ended. They're still fully decked out, themselves. Henry is Prince Charming and Nick is Captain Hook, while the girls are both Little Red (Grace in girl form and Ava in wolf form). They'd make quite a spectacle in a café with a less bizarre set of patrons.

The woman chuckles. "Uh, actually, I didn't dress up, kid. These are just my clothes."

"Oh," Ava says curiously, "I thought you were supposed to look like Gin."

The woman looks down at herself and then lets out a quiet snicker. "Guess I do," she admits. "Completely unintentional, but I guess it makes sense. She's my favorite." Then, with a quick glance at Regina, she smirks. "You must be 'Henry's mom.' And I'm gonna guess you're..."

"She's Sal!" Henry says proudly. "But Mayor Sal, not Evil Queen Sal."

"Yeah, well, those Evil Queen outfits might have been a little inappropriate for public consumption, if you know what I mean," the woman says, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Sighing, Regina says, "I have no idea. My name is Regina, by the way. Regina Mills."

"Emma Swan. Gotta read here because my roommate's faster than I am and has a tendency to blurt out the endings," the woman replies, and Regina does a double-take. _Emma?_ No, of course it's not the same person. Could it be? She's never seen a picture of charmingduckling83, so maybe –

No, she's being ridiculous. It's not an uncommon name, and there are more than enough adults who enjoy this series. It's possible, of course, but not...

"You okay?" Emma asks, looking concerned.

"Fine. Just...just tired. It's been a long day," Regina quickly reassures her, pasting a smile on her lips for the children's benefit.

"Right," Emma replies. "You need another latte or something? I can –"

"As I said, I'm fine. Now, what's going on with Marisol?" Regina snaps, offended at the idea that she'd need a random stranger to buy her coffee.

Their corner of the café descends once again into silence, Regina nodding off on Henry's shoulder as the kids race each other to uncover the myriad plot twists first. There are some whispers about Saden dying _(Good riddance_ , Regina thinks, half asleep) and then a sharp gasp from the next table causes her to jerk awake, bashing heads with Henry in the process. 

"Moooom!" he whines, and Regina glares at Emma, who's covering her mouth as if to hold back a scream, eyes glistening.

"Sorry," she whispers. "Sorry, I just..."

"Don't say anything!" Ava orders. "Nobody can talk until we're all finished." Emma nods – she's stuffed her hand in her mouth to keep from talking and she keeps letting out these little whimpers like she's trying not to cry. Whatever plot twist she's at – and it looks like it's near the end – must be pretty good. Regina forces herself awake and tries to pay more attention to the plot.

About five minutes later, Ava screams. "What are you doing?" Nick demands, smacking her arm.

"Look!" she hollers. "I can't even believe it! Look at the last chapter!"

Before Regina can say anything about spoilers, the other four kids are gathered behind Ava, Grace starts jumping up and down, and Henry claps his hand over his mouth. "Mom, Gin and Sal kissed!" he gasps.

 _"What?"_  Regina grabs Henry's book and flips to the end of the final chapter, unable to breathe. It _can't_ be true, can it? They would never – all of the drama about it being a children's book and – the people on Tumblr all had their theories, but –

Yes, it's really there.

 

_Marisol got into the cab of the truck and Gin started the motor. Then, she stopped and leapt from the cab. “Since I won’t remember,” she said and she pulled Sal towards her and kissed her. “I love you, Salbatora Mendez,” she said as Mom stood stunned, touching her lips.  
_ _\-- 'Dark Heart' by Amy Carey_

 

"Mrs. Mills, are you crying?" Nick demands, and all of the kids are suddenly staring at her face. 

"It's about time, if you ask me," Grace says with a shrug. "You know they've wanted to since, like, book two."

Chuckling softly, Emma passes Regina a napkin from her table and asks, "Kind of a shock, huh?"

"This...this is..." Regina trails off, unable to put her emotions into words or even breathe properly.

"It's just like in your fanfic, Mom," Henry grumbles. "I don't know why you're so surprised."

He plops back down into his chair and resumes reading, and Regina shrugs as she finishes dabbing her eyes and throws out the napkin. When she returns to the table, she's surprised to see that Emma is staring at her.

"Hold up," she says, narrowing her eyes, "you write fanfic?"

"Oh, I..." Face going slightly pink, Regina chews her lower lip and stammers, "Just one story...well, two actually. It's quite a –"

"Oh, no, I'm not judging. I do, too," the other woman says quickly. "Like, way more than two, and some are better than others. It's kind of taken over my life, to be perfectly honest. Cost me a relationship. Well, actually that may have been my fault, but – are you okay?"

Regina blinks, unsure if she's dreaming or if this is actually –

"This is going to sound crazy, but are you... did you write a fic called 'Something in the Water?'" she asks, groaning internally almost as soon as the words come out of her mouth because, really, _that's_ the fic that popped into her mind with all these children around?

The woman blushes. "Yup, that's me. In some circles I go by charmingduckling83."

Extending her hand, Regina says, "Well, in those same circles I go by red_honeycrisp."

"No way!" Emma exclaims, taking a step back. "You're, like, a minor celebrity. Also, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a lot hotter than I pictured."

"I wouldn't go that far," Regina counters, blushing profusely.

Emma continues like she hadn't even heard. "Damn – I mean dang, sorry kids—" (the kids don't seem to notice) "—wait until I tell Mary Margaret! She's _obsessed_ with 'Shadowed Heart,' you have no idea – or maybe you do. I mean, you read the reviews."

"I have," she confirms. "I, um... I also... I very much enjoyed your fics, even the slightly silly ones. And I enjoyed our correspondence, it was...highly entertaining."

"Yeah, it was," Emma says, smirking. "Except when you were super annoying and nitpicky. But then...oh, geez. You _wrote a fic_ for me!" Suddenly dead serious, she exclaims, "No one's ever done something like that for me before! I dumped my girlfriend that night because she never wrote anything for me."

"You didn't!" Regina laughs. "Is that why – but you never reviewed!" she says accusingly. "You – I never even knew that you read it!"

Then it's Emma who blushes. "I...um, I actually did," she mumbles. "Just...anonymously. A few times, actually."

"That was _you?_ Why didn't you –"

"I don't know," Emma groans, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "I just thought...well, anyway, it was stupid. I guess now I can tell you in person that I loved it. And, like, really appreciated the sentiment. So, thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome," Regina replies, eyes on her feet. "And thank _you_ for responding to all of my anonymous asks on Tumblr a week or so ago. You... your words meant a lot to me."

"Wait, was that you? I really had no idea, but... well, yeah, it makes sense," Emma says with a shrug, glancing at the kids. "Glad I could be of service. I, um...I really liked talking to you. Online, you know. And in person, I guess."

"Me too," Regina says softly, chewing nervously at her lower lip. For a moment, their eyes meet in understanding, and there's something that twitches in Emma's face, like she's about to say something, but Henry gets there first.

"Mom, I'm done reading!" he says, perhaps overly loudly. "You can have the book now."

"Thank you, dear," Regina chuckles, taking the book from him before looking back at Emma, but the moment's passed. Clearing her throat, she adds, "Actually, if everyone's about finished, we might think about going home." Everyone except Henry, whose eyes are fixated on the scene between his mother and her unexpected new friend, nods tiredly.

As Regina's rounding the kids up, Emma hesitantly approaches her. "So, um...I was wondering," she mumbles, "do you maybe want to get together sometime? Like, for dinner? After you've read the book, I mean... we could, like, talk about it?"

Regina lets out a short bark of laughter before her mind suddenly starts careening off in all different directions. Dinner? With Emma? Like a date? Is she ready to go on a date? With someone she met on the internet? This is –

"Or, we could just, like, go to a café and write fic in each other's presence?" Emma suggests. "Like, very, _very_ casual."

"Casual," repeats Regina. "I can do casual."

"Great, so I'll message you on AO3 or something," Emma says with a shy smile.

Regina smirks and pulls a notepad out of her purse. "Or I can give you my number." With the kids already halfway out the door, she quickly scrawls it out and hands Emma the page. "Call or text me and we'll figure something out. I'd really like to spend more time with you."

Her phone buzzes loudly just as she pulls up in front of her house, waking the kids in the backseat.

 

_viva la virgin savior ;)_


End file.
